Monday, November 17, 2008

Special Alert

I interrupt the regularly scheduled posting for the week to bring you this, what is sure to be the most crazy thing that will ever take place at Empiric.

Although it's not ideal to take the law into your own hands my husband is fearless. After asking a homeless man to drink his beer at some other location and to please not leave his empty bottles (or puke) in our parking lot for us to pick up, he politely left. Only to return 20 minutes later to squat at our back door and resume drinking. This time 2E grabbed his beer and started walking to the garbage bin at the neighboring gas station, pouring the beer out as he went. This infuriated the lazy crazy drunk to no end. After tearing off his shirt and trying to beat 2E with a wind shield washer he finally took off but not before yelling "I'll get you for this. You'll be sorry". Oh really.....



Fast forward another hour or so. It was nearing the end of what proved to be a busy Monday. La Dee Da. Whistle Whistle Whistle. Michael was on the phone with a client when someone started pounding loudly on one of the front windows.

"michael" - Me, fearful

more pounding

"Michael" - Now terrified


I open the front door *and this is where things get fuzzy* to find 6 armed officers to the left, screaming at me. More to the right.. guns pointed. Helicopter circling and police vehicles blocking traffic from both sides.Ruh -Roh.

Both of us confused we run out to the curb, out of the line of possible fire. Is there a suicide nut on the roof? A bomb threat? Are the calls coming from inside the house? Do they know what I did last summer!!!!!!!

2E is quickly frisked at which point I switch my brain back on and realize I might be witnessing my man getting arrested. This doesn't sit well. My heart leaps from my chest and falls to the ground swollen, about to burst. Or at leastthats how it feels.

The crime: Burglary. The suspect: The Store Owner. Hold up (no pun intended)??? After a brief interrogation where I prove beyond a reasonable doubt that this man has not threatened me into protecting him and has no intention of robbing me, er, himself they lighten up. A call from the pay phone across the street reporting a robbery of our store with the description of theburglar meeting exactly those of 2E is what caused all the chaos.

I wonder who would have done such a thing? Any Sherlock Holmes in the crowd? I love a good mystery!!!

8 comments:

Regardez Moi said...

OH. MY. GOD.

First of all, this is fudging insane. Second of all, you told the story so well... I know it wasn't funny at the time but I was DYING reading it.

That bum needs to go down.

Heather said...

wait, what? how freaky

Annie Empiric said...

In the wise words of Sarah Silverman, It was beyond. All I wish is that someone could have captured this on film, more specifically my face and it's reaction to exiting the store to find a dozen men in bullet proof vests screaming orders at me. Where is Ashton Kutcher and his film crew when you need him because don't think I wasn't 100% sure this wasn't an episode of Punk'd.

Dana Wynne and Raul Cordova said...

That might be one of the best stories I've heard in a long time!?*@ Obviously, this homeless person was a Harvard grad before hitting the streets...

coco+kelley said...

oh.my.god.

i would have paid to see that - and yet i'm SO glad i wasn't there for it!! ;)

hello gorgeous said...

Good grief. I love dana and raul's comment...

Baking With Plath said...

Isn't this like, a typical day in LA? That's what I've learned from the movies. If so, I'm moving there. This was hilarious (though maybe not for you).

dolcechic said...

You poor thing! How scary. Glad everything is alright.