Friday, June 20, 2008
I am getting married, here, in 15 days. My emotions are muddled. I am insanely stressed out. My doctor gave me Zanax and I didn't even ask her. I am also really excited. I don't think I can trick all the people that I love to get along... for me.. on my account... for the sake of my happiness.. ever again. In between stress and excitement I feel lucky, overwhelmed, over tanned, under pressure, out of sync, on cloud nine.
I wish that I didn't have to worry so much about work. That I didn't have my own business from which there was no vacation. I want someone to wrap their arms around me and tell me its all okay. That when I am not in the store they are thinking only about the greater good of our corporation and our future, as a team. From 10:30 - 6 they are dedicated to this little world that I care so much about. I want to help make their reputations start growing today, yesterday, tomorrow and I want that feeling to be mutual.
More than that, I want a carb! I am starving but my dress is so darn pretty and as of 24 hours ago I am on a protein, vegetable, white wine diet consisting of smaller portions and 1200 meters in the pool every day. I also have been drinking more of my arch enemy (H2o) which is a real bitch but getting easier by the bottle. I figure some of my readers work out 300 days a year so working out for the next 10 complaint free is the least I can do. Well, was the least I could do because I have already just complained but its still 100 degrees in my house and I have had less calories today than what I burned in the pool so I get a free pass.
Roar! Oh, I should go. My stomach is calling and its at the door with some water (boo) and a zanax (yay!). Tomorrow is our shower so I need to get lots of rest in anticipation of getting very little for the next few days. Its the countdown! And I am ready - exhaustion, excitement, starvation, stress, tan lines and all!